Week 14 Love

Love every minute of it. . .

We buried my grandmother today. There's something about seeing your father break (even if just for a moment) over the loss of his mother that leaves a scar on your heart unlike any other hurt you'll ever experience. The last two days have been emotionally and physically exhausting.

All I have in me to say right now is this. . .love every minute of it. Life is short. And whether or not you choose to acknowledge it, your days are numbered. Your number may be 85 like my grandmother's. It could be 62, perhaps 29. Your number might even be today. Are you loving every minute of it?

Now I know you can't actually love every minute of it. Some minutes are hard, like laying a loved one to rest. And some minutes are just obnoxious, like mowing the lawn. I don't love either of those minutes. But I have to look at them in relation to the life path that I am on. Am I loving this path? Are there enough minutes I love on this path to outweigh the hard and obnoxious minutes? If not, something is most definitely wrong. And I think that's something we all need to assess in our life on a regular basis.

As we recounted the life of my grandmother today, it helped reaffirm the importance of the assessment I am doing of my own life. For me, this blog has been key in helping me to assess the minutes on my path. It has empowered me to change my path in an attempt to restore the balance of hard/obnoxious and amazingly loved minutes in my life.

Because let's face it, if you aren't loving every minute of it, are you really even living?

In memory of

Esther Gertrude Marsh

July 18, 1927 - May 24, 2013 



Week 13 Love

Morning has broken. . .early

It's a late post again for week 13. I'm trying to decide whether to be upset with myself due to the fact it's so late it's almost time for week 14 or, tell myself it's really not a big deal and I can write the posts whenever I want. I think I'm going with the later. . .because I'm tired.

I've been overly tired the last week or so. I think it has something to do with a puppy who is an early riser, and myself. . .who is most definitely not. We've seen as early as 5:30am, on a weekend. I love my puppy, but I've never loved early mornings. And most of these mornings that we've been up early have resulted in us taking a nap by 8am. That being said, I may be finding a new appreciate for rising early.

For one thing, there is SO MUCH MORE day when you are up early! This is both a blessing and a curse though. It makes for a long tiring work day (where they frown on naps), but it also makes for a lot more time to do things on the weekends (when naps are perfectly acceptable). I love having the weekends feel longer.

I have also found that getting up early (and not snoozing through 7 alarm cycles) makes you feel less tired in the morning overall. Not to mention, there is something sort of magical about the world in that early morning hour. It's more still, and quiet. The light is soft as the day is just breaking. And the air is. . I don't know. . .different. At least in the warm weather it is. I imagine in the winter the air is the same (cold as shit) no matter what time of day it is.

For never having been a morning person, I am starting to feel a new appreciation for the morning hour. That's not to say I want to see it EVERY morning. . .let's be reasonable now. I hope eventually Banjo will learn to share my appreciation for sleeping in. At least occasionally.

How have you loved yourself this week?

Week 12 Love

Puppy love. . .

First off, if you're looking for the post from week 11, it's with the post from week 7. . .which is not on this blog. I don't really have a good excuse for missing week 11. In fact, I even had most of the post written in my head. But I was tired, and distracted, and procrastinated writing it. Yes, procrastination is one of my talents. And before I knew it, week 12 was not only upon me, but almost over. Consequently, no week 11 post. And week 12's post is later than my usual goal (Sunday evening). So let's get to it.

Puppy love. Is there anything better? And I'm not talking about awkward, pre teen, do you want to be my girlfriend (or boyfriend) check yes or no, love. I'm talking about wet nose kisses, fluffy cuteness, puppy breath love. Not only did I spend a bunch of time playing with the most ridiculously cute puppy last week, I brought him home with me. . .to stay.  

There are people I know that think this was a spontaneous, not well thought out, overall bad idea. And if I am totally honest with myself, I have had those thoughts myself. But I think those thoughts originate in my mind because of the fear of how others will judge my decision to get a puppy, and the fear that maybe everyone else is right and I am wrong.

When I really stop and think about it, these thoughts in my head actually have nothing to do with getting a puppy, and everything to do with self doubt, pleasing others, and finding myself a place in the trunk of my own life. The very things I am try to correct and heal in my life. As I have come to this realization, my thoughts of "Was this a huge mistake? Was everyone else right? Am I going to fail this dog and myself?" are receding. And instead I am looking forward with confidence and excitement in this relationship with my new fur baby.

His name is Banjo, and I'm very glad I brought him home with me. He is a good, smart, fun dog. And if that isn't enough. . .his cuteness is almost unbearable. 

How have you loved yourself this week?