February 24, 2013

Week 1 Love

Treasure Hunting

There's something you should know about me. . .I love bargain hunting. I love garage sales, thrift stores, flea markets, Craigslist, consignment shops, etc. I also love the shabby chic, re-purposed look. With the invention of Pinterest, the addiction only got worse. I have pinned all KINDS of projects and decor ideas I want to try. The problem is, I don't considered myself crafty or creative. But hey, the next 52 weeks is about remembering who I am and loving that person right? Who knows, maybe I will find out I AM crafty and creative. So, in the meantime, I'll keep pinning away.

There were a lot of things I should have done this weekend, none of them were shop. My house is a mess, the laundry is piling up, and the refrigerator is looking pretty empty. But I decided that I wasn't going to do any of those things. Instead, I decided to love myself this weekend by visiting a couple of my favorite treasure hunting locations and making a Craigslist purchase.

There is something so personal about shopping at second hand stores. Every item has it's own story. Like that dresser with the red crayon scribble and the half torn off glittery sticker on the inside of the drawer. How old was the child who put those there? Was it a boy or a girl? I'm guessing a girl, considering the glittery sticker and all. Did her mom catch her or did she get away with it? What about the black spaghetti strap formal dress? Did the girl where it to her prom? Did the boy she went with break her heart in the end? Or did she marry her high school sweetheart? The old trunk with the yellowing, pealing paper on the inside and the missing leather strap handle. Where has been? Across the country? Across the world? What was in it while it traveled?

The most poignant ones for me are the old photos. What we may see as a cool vintage photo and frame that will complete the look in our cozy spare bedroom is actually a moment in another human being's life. What was that person's name? What where they thinking at the moment the photo was taken? How did that person's family photos end up in a second hand thrift store? It makes you realize that someday you, and everyone that ever knew you, will be gone from this earth. Every possession you ever held dear will either become trash, or be left to people who know nothing about you. It reminds you that life is fleeting, and that the cliche saying, 'The most important things in life aren't things' is actually true.

So this weekend I loved myself by looking through and purchasing someone else's lost treasures. I posted a picture of some of them below. I hope I do them justice.

How have you loved yourself this week?



February 22, 2013

Who do you love?


Who do you love? It's a valid question. A question we are all asked at some point, and one we ask others.

Who do you love?

Is it your family? Your friends? Your children? Your pets? Your boyfriend or girlfriend? Your God? These are all real answers, valid answers. They are important answers. But are they the most important?

Who do you love?

Is the answer ever yourself?

The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines "self-love" as a) conceit and b) regard for one's own happiness or advantage. It then lists synonyms such as egotism, pridefulness, smugness, and vanity. Why does the concept of loving oneself carry such a negative connotation in much of today's society? It seems that many of us have either been taught, or drawn the conclusion from personal experience, that loving ourselves should take a back seat to loving others.

I have spent years attempting to please those that love me, and even those that didn't love me. I focus on what I need to do to gain acceptance from others. I frett about what the "right" decisions are and how my decisions look in the eyes of others. I let other's opinions of me build me up, or tear me down. I agonize about not meeting the expectations of those that love me. And over time, I have not only lost love for myself, I have lost sight of myself completely. I'm not just in the back seat, I am in the trunk.

The trunk is a dark, empty, scary place to be once you realize you are there. And you really only have two options once the full realization of the situation hits you. Option number one is to kick out a tail light, see the light, and fight your way out. Option number two. . .is to stay there and die. This blog is about option number one. It's about getting back into the driver's seat of my own life. It's about embracing the uniqueness that is me, and not letting the opinions of others assign my worth. It's about reestablishing a love relationship with myself. . .one week at a time. Every week for 52 weeks I will take the time to intentionally show love to myself in some way, shape, or form.

Are you in the back seat of your own life? The passenger seat? Or, heaven forbid, you are in the trunk like me. Regardless of where you are, maybe you will want to join me on this journey. I would love to hear your stories of self love.

I'm asking you now. . .Who do you love?