Week 8 Love

My decisions are ok. . .

For those of you that have been following along, you may wonder what happened to Week 7. Yeah, me too. So, here's what happened, I stopped being intentional. I stopped paying attention to myself and how I was treating myself and if I was loving myself. And then when it got around time to blog about Week 7 love, well, I had nothin. And that's when I realized that I need to be intentional about this challenge.

I've made a lot of life changing decisions the last few months. And my opinion on a lot of things has changed. I have friends and family that don't necessarily agree with these decisions and opinions. And that's perfectly ok. After all, we are all entitled to make our own decisions based on whatever factors we choose in helping us to make that decision. And we are all entitled to our own opinion on all matters. What's NOT ok is when I start to second guess my decisions and opinions (or worse yet, make them) based on what other's think. That's how I ended up in the trunk in the first place. If you're wondering what that means, you probably haven't read my first post "Who do you love?".  If you haven't, I urge you to take a minute and do so.

Over the last week or so I have been questioning some of my decisions. Not only that, but I have spent time wondering if I had done or said things differently, or been a different person, if certain situations from my past would have had different outcomes. After I had let myself revert down this destructive (yet all too familiar) path for awhile, I started to analyze what was really happening. And here's what I came up with. . .criticism, blame, and fear. Criticism and blame, of myself for the negative things that have happened to me in my life. . .which ultimately lead to the fear. The fear that I am not capable of of making decisions, having opinions, and living a life on my own that will lead to positive outcomes in my future. 

No one has walked in my shoes. And no one has felt what I feel. I am not naive enough to think that no one has gone through similar situations as mine. Of course they have. Millions of people most likely. But MY shoes, and MY feelings are mine and mine alone. For better or worse, these shoes and feelings contribute to my opinion and decision making. The opinions and advice of friends and family can be contributing factors as well. But that advice comes without them wearing my shoes or having my feelings. If my friends and family could experience those, would their advice be different? Would their decision?

I say all of this to remind myself that no one is more capable of making a decision about my life than I am. And I need to work hard to remember this. I need to love myself and trust myself enough to know that I shouldn't second guess my choices when someone disagrees with them. They may not always be the right choices, but they are mine to make. And I will own them.

How have you loved yourself this week?