Week 20 & 21 Love

What if. . .

You may have noticed there was no post last week, and this week's post is already late. Ironically, I knew what I needed to write about last week. I even started the post and saved an outline of the content as a draft. . . .and then let it sit there all week. Because honestly, I didn't want to talk about it. I STILL don't want to talk about it. I thought about just writing off the missing week 20 post with some cute, flippant excuse. But when I sat down to write the post for week 21, I quickly realized that I wasn't going to be able to move on to any other subject until what I was struggling with made it from my head to this blog. So what's so important that it's getting two weeks worth of blog posts?

The What If Game

Can we all just take a moment and agree that this is the worst game ever? No one ever wins the What If game. And yet, WE ALL KEEP PLAYING IT! I've been playing (or should I say losing) the What If game non stop the last few weeks. I've been thinking about all of the profound realizations I've come to since starting this blog. Embracing the amazing transformations and growth I've seen in myself along the way, and reveling in the wonderful feeling that comes from loving yourself, and your life, just as you are in that very minute. And then, all of a sudden, there it is. . .what if.

The What If game is the most dangerous when you play it with your past. My personal version of the game right now is "What if. . .I had been the person I am now back then?". This round of the game has taken me down all kinds of roads lately, none of them good. I've been questioning how decisions, opportunities, and relationships in my past might have been different if I was who I am now, back then. I've been wondering what I have missed out on while not being true to myself. Would I have chosen the path of success as defined by others in an attempt to win approval? Would I have taken that amazing job opportunity that I was too afraid would reveal me as a failure? Would I be sharing my life with some of the most amazing, spiritual people I have ever met? And most painful of all, if I was the person I am now back then, would he have fallen in love with me?

The What If game is cruel. And it is counterproductive to everything this blog is about. Everything in my past, the questionable choices, missed opportunities, broken relationships, and unrequited love have ALL made me the person I am today. I could not be who I am today if those things had not happened. So how could I possibly have been the "new" me back then? And even if, in some twisted universe, it WAS possible, whose to say the outcome of all of those things wouldn't be the same? Or even worse? Where would that leave the "new" me? I'll tell you where. . .back in the trunk. (if you aren't following, read my first blog post Who Do You Love?)

We can love our old self, and we can love our new self. The past was a catalyst for the creation of our new self. Let's do that new self justice by focusing on the amazing life unfolding before us.

How have you loved yourself this week?

Week 19 Love

Take a break. . .

This week's post follows on the heels of the last one when I talked about knowing your worth and pushing your limits. This past week I took a break. . .and went on vacation. Granted, I didn't actually go anywhere or do anything out of the ordinary. But I'll tell you what I DIDN'T do, and that's go to work. And in my mind, anytime I'm not at work that's vacation enough.

This vacation wasn't planned. In fact, it was very last minute. And probably the much needed result of being pushed to my limit. Sometimes you need to just step back, take a break, and recharge your batteries. I think a spur of the moment vacation is just the thing to do that.

Sometimes when we plan a vacation in advance we jam pack it with things to do, places to go, and people to see. It's often after those types of vacations that I feel like I need another vacation! So last week it was nice to have a few days where I really had no plans. When you have no plans, responsibilities, or tasks for a day the day suddenly becomes full of possibilities. You can choose to do absolutely anything that you feel like doing that day. It's a good way to explore what really makes you happy and what you really love to do. After all, you aren't going to work and you have no other errands that must be completed. So obviously whatever you choose to do is going to be something that you enjoy. I'll admit, sometimes what I want to do most is spend the entire day in my pajamas on the couch watching TV between naps. But that usually means I need some serious recharging before I can even choose to do something enjoyable.

So go ahead. Take a break. And remind yourself, or maybe figure out for the first time ever, how you would spend your days if you didn't have to work and had no responsibilities. Who knows, this may be the first step to turning what you find you love to do INTO your work and responsibilities!  

How have you loved yourself this week?

Week 18 Love

Know your worth. . .and your limits

I bet some of you thought the week 18 post was going to find itself in the black hole. I know it's late, but I wanted to try to get back onto a Sunday post day to finish out the week.

Over the last week or so, there have been moments, people, articles, random quotes, and other things that have reminded me of my worth. And once I was reminded, I was a little upset with myself that I had forgotten. Why is it that we let a person, a job, a situation, the world in general, cut us down and make us start forgetting our own worth? Why do we fail to know our limits and stand our ground?

I don't know why this happens, but I do know that by the time we remember our worth, we've usually been pushed way past our limits. We would serve ourselves well, not to mention save ourselves a world of hurt, pain, stress, or any other number of things, if we would not lose sight of our worth in the first place.

Know your worth, and your limits. Don't sell yourself short, and don't let anyone else do it either.

How have you loved yourself this week?

Week 17 Love

The Purge. . .

I have a lot of stuff, and a small house. I'll admit that I can be a bit of a pack rat. But let's be clear on one thing, I am NOT a hoarder. If I ever get close to that status I hope that one of my friends will hold an intervention for me!

They say that there is a correlation between the clutter/cleanliness of your living environment and your mental/emotional state. I have found this to be very true. I'm definitely not the tidiest person, but I try to keep things somewhat in order at home. . .ok try but often fail. What normally happens is that I let the place go until one day I look around and think "OMG, I can't stand this! How did this happen?" And then I go on a cleaning/de-cluttering spree. Unfortunately, de-cluttering often means just moving the clutter into a closet or drawer or somewhere unseen. That usually works for awhile. But every now and then I get this overwhelming need to purge.

The purge urge struck last week. . .big time. All of a sudden I felt completely claustrophobic and overwhelmed by "stuff". I started tackling a couple of those places where clutter usually goes after I have de-cluttered. Like that one shelf in the bathroom cabinet that contains all of the things that I haven't touched in over a year. That broken eye shadow that is also missing the applicator brush? Yeah, I don't need that.

I purged a couple of these small areas last week and immediately started to feel better about my life in general. There are many places left to tackle, but thankfully I am still motivated. It must be because it is making me feel better! What better motivation is there?

How have you loved yourself this week?